Thursday, April 16, 2009

the five inexplicable fixie fashions EXPLAINED.

every day i go through my rss reader to see how the world is going. and on bsnyc this morning, i stumbled on this editorial on his blog. it's from wired magazine (because nerds are the only ones left in this world who read) and the tile exclaimed  "the five inexplicable fixie fashions". let me be the first to explain all five.

first off. i am not a "fixie" rider. my bike is not made for silly tricks, nor do i have any intention of looking like a bicycle messenger. in fact, once summer comes around, the bike is going to see some hardcore velodrome action. only dumbasses say fixie. fixed ger is okay. track bike is more like it.

they start out with the top tube pad.  personally, i dont rock a pad because my nuts have dropped and i seriously think if youre going to eat it, take it like a buffet (that makes no sense). though experience, during a trackstand the knees tend to knock on the top tube. riding backwards can also do result in knocking knee syndrome.  the top tube pad avoids this. it also allows the bike to be locked up without getting scratches (a good old sticker can do that job). EXPLAINED.

then there's the spoke card. i do have spoke cards (a mash sf one, a random postcard, and 2 chico crit. mass ones). the spoke card was originally a tool for alleycat races; organizers would put a number on them so that at each checkpoint they can mark them off. riders would keep them on their pokes to adress to the wold the alleycats they have attended. today its more of "what can i put in my spokes". EXPLAINED.

the mag wheel: here's where the article kinda ticks me off. im a fan of skyways. my dream bike is a pk ripper with black skyways. they were light and badass. DONT EVER CONFUSE SKYWAYS WITH MOTHER FUCKING HIPSTER ASS AEROSPOKES (and the less hipster, more professional hed 3). with that out of the way, the aerospoke/hed 3 HELLA lightens the bike as well as makes the wheel more aerodynamic.  light+aero= hella fast. or for tarcksters: light=hella easier to do tricks. plus it's super easy to put a chain through to lock up. my bike wouldnt touch this. EXPLAINED.

something i love to rant about: handlebars! here's what they mean:
diy bullhorns: im too cheap to buy some legit bullhorns.
bullhorns: i rock bullhorns. i dont know what it means.
drops: either "i just bought this bike, and these stupid things came on it" or "keirin anyone?"
flat/risers with oury grips:"WATCH ME DO THIS BARSPIN"
look, i hate seeing these bikes with risers/flatbars. i can see why theyre functional in the courier world use shortbars, and i give it up to those who can throw down, but when i dee dudes with risers and brakes- it confuses me. you cant do barspins with brakes, so why use risers? you cant get into an aerodynamic position with risers, so if youre not doing tricks....what the hell are you doing? i dont have risers nor do i have intent to purchase risers/flats. EXPLAINED.

the brooks saddle. it's hype. thats all. hype. EXPLAINED.

so what have we learned? saying fixie makes you look silly. i do one out of these five apparently inexplicable things (hooray me). some of these things have function. some are just hype. im a fan of skyways. and wired magazine has nothing better to do. neither do i.

now explain these to me wired mag: the chrome messenger bag. color matching. oury grips. high flange hubs. platform pedals. "feetbelts". knog frogs (i own knog frogs... they SUCK). and TARCKING.

theres a challenge.


Anonymous said...

This will piss you off - I have a road bike with gears AND risers. I like risers because I'm a MTB rider primarily and I'm used to having the control risers offer. Dropbars make me feel like I'm riding a fucking penny farthing.

I agree though, fixies are fad. They make no sense unless you live in a flat city. I'm just all self-conscious now because my old geared road bike has some fixie traits and people will confuse me for a wanker.

david said...

sweet article... but i do disagree with you on some things, plenty of messengers around where i live have aerospokes,it's way easier to lock up a bike without having to deal with the 32 or 36 spokes on the rim. they also have knog strobes or beetles, they are cheap and super lightweight. pretty easy to manage as well.

also, i used to ride with track drops but i switched to risers and i do run a front brake... why? because i like being in a more upright position. it's ten times more comfy than bullhorns or drops in my opinion.

so yeah, some of it's a fad, but most of it isn't. i doubt the "fixie fad" will die anytime soon though, a lot of people have spent time and money on their track bikes and i hope they won't let that go soon. the only plus would be a massive surplus on the market.