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Sunday, March 22, 2009

"BIKE FARTHY"

so last night was the san jose bike party, which i attended with homies. we started out with kris (se draft lite), justin (terrences shitty road bike), terrence (the pink monster) and brandon (mr. fits with his red and black bike), but little did we know- we were about to get picked off one by one.

we started out at 7 pm. we took tully out to downtown and got to bascom. justin kept us behind a bit with some cramps, but other than that it was smooth. distaster began when kris' rear started to give way. we soldiered on until we made it to dick's center. there was the biggest gathering of bikes ive seen in a while; well over chico's crititcal mass- it mustve been 1.5 times bigger. at the meet we met up with 2 dudes that graduated at ev in 07.

i soon realized that sjbikeparty isnt the most organizied thing in the world. people in wierd foil costumes, couches, neon lights, beer and weed were among the scenery. anyways, we started off, and as soon as we started the group split due to a lightrail crossing fiasco. soonafter kris opted out due to a flat rear (sucks because he just bought that thing). thus begins the nightmare.

we ended up riding all the way to oakridge via almaden to blossom hill. all along the way, police were waiting. some were assholes, one dude got tacked by a cop and arrested for some reason. another cop uttered from a p.a. system "get out of the road idiots." other cops blocked the road for us.

im not going to lie, some cyclists were f*cking stupid. there were kids on bmx bikes acting a fool. there was this guy on a cruiser with monkey bars who f*cked up his chain while jumping and showing off. there were a shit load of noob fixed gear riders who were hotheaded. there were drunks who ended up on the floor on the last leg to san jose state. i swear if i hear "BIKE PARTY!" again im going to shoot a b*tch. hell, the finale was dumbass people going down the event center's staircase with their bikes.  there were alot of people not obeying the law and being stupid about it like drinking and cycling or smoking weed and cycling was legal. this was not bicycle advocacy, it was bicycle anarchy.

i had fun though. night riding with a shit load of people and my friends was fun. pedaling like hell was fun. being tired as hell was fun. we ended up at san jose state at about midnight. by then, brandon's bald head was steaming.

we treked home, it was hella late and we were stupid tired. well, actually i wasnt that tired, but my homies were tired. we made it to the bridge over 101 on tully, justin tapped out and told us to go without him. and then there were three. brandon had been silent once we got onto tully- his tiredness was showing. when we got onto white and stevens (not far from home) his leg gave out and cramped up. he tapped out and called his girlfriend to pick him up. the cops came over to us and saw brandon on the floor. but they were cool and left us alone as long as we moved brandons bike out of the road. so terrence and i pedaled on. it was 1 am.

as we soldiered on through the suburbs, the two guys from ev 07 pulled up behind us in their car. what a fail- and we thought we would make it home before they did. shiiiiieet.

the last hill sucked ass.

all in all, it was great.

i will never do it again

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